Discipline of desires
Discipline of desires. 
We forget that our desires are also the desires of our dark nature - the dark triad (narcissism - the desire to devalue others and prove one's superiority, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, sadism, and vandalism - the desire to destroy and cause pain). In this case, causing harm to others and enjoying their suffering is "do what you love and follow your desires." For those unable to create, the pleasure of destruction and chaos is always open.
We forget that our desires can result from the of chemical and non-chemical addictions (like parasites) on our dopamine neurons - and we passionately and fanatically "do what we love and follow our desires," destroying our lives with addiction, fanaticism (addiction to a cherished idea), dependent relationships, and so on.
Stoicism offers a simple way to resolve this issue - the discipline of desires (stoic acceptance). Its idea is simple: just as we learn to drive a car according to the rules and learn writing and reading, we need to learn to desire the right and useful things (things that make us better) and learn not to desire harmful and wrong things (things that destroy us). There is no need to wring our hands over unfulfilled desires; instead, we should understand how foolish, wrong, and destructive it is to want something bad. There is no conflict of desires; there is only a question of learning and awareness.
"A free man desires everything to happen as he wishes. But does this mean that everything he wishes must happen to him? Not at all. After all, a diploma, for example, teaches us to write letters and words, whatever we want, but I cannot write letters for my name as I please: I will never write my name that way. And I must want to write exactly the letters that are needed, and in the order that is needed. And so in everything."
Four ideas from the Stoic discipline of desires:
1. Desires according to values.
2. Desire and duty.
3. Desire and control.
4. Desire aligned with reality.
"Freedom is not attained by satisfying our idle desires but by getting rid of such desires. If you want to convince yourself that this is true, apply to the liberation from your empty desires at least half as much effort as you have spent on fulfilling them so far, and you will soon see that this way you will gain much more peace and happiness." Epictetus.
How are you doing with your desires? Are you suppressing them, pandering to them? Are you using the power of your desires or are your desires using you?
From early childhood, we hear about the immense importance of our desires, as if our desires and their fulfillment are the essence of life, and "suppressing desires" is perceived as violence against oneself, harmful to health. "Do what you want," "listen to your desires," and "everything you want is good for you." "Do what you love, and follow your desires."
We forget that inside us, there are not only angels but also demons - we are the sources of destructive desires for ourselves and others. We can desire unhealthy things due to our biological vulnerabilities (ultra-processed food, pornography, the "terrible enemy" - all capable of pushing our buttons). In this case, overeating in front of the screen is "do what you want."
We forget that our desires are also the desires of our dark nature - the dark triad (narcissism - the desire to devalue others and prove one's superiority, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, sadism, and vandalism - the desire to destroy and cause pain). In this case, causing harm to others and enjoying their suffering is "do what you love and follow your desires." For those unable to create, the pleasure of destruction and chaos is always open.
We forget that our desires can result from the of chemical and non-chemical addictions (like parasites) on our dopamine neurons - and we passionately and fanatically "do what we love and follow our desires," destroying our lives with addiction, fanaticism (addiction to a cherished idea), dependent relationships, and so on.
Stoicism offers a simple way to resolve this issue - the discipline of desires (stoic acceptance). Its idea is simple: just as we learn to drive a car according to the rules and learn writing and reading, we need to learn to desire the right and useful things (things that make us better) and learn not to desire harmful and wrong things (things that destroy us). There is no need to wring our hands over unfulfilled desires; instead, we should understand how foolish, wrong, and destructive it is to want something bad. There is no conflict of desires; there is only a question of learning and awareness.
"A free man desires everything to happen as he wishes. But does this mean that everything he wishes must happen to him? Not at all. After all, a diploma, for example, teaches us to write letters and words, whatever we want, but I cannot write letters for my name as I please: I will never write my name that way. And I must want to write exactly the letters that are needed, and in the order that is needed. And so in everything."
Four ideas from the Stoic discipline of desires:
1. Desires according to values.
Want to live according to your values. Courage (facing facts, approaching rather than avoiding), moderation (understanding the "golden mean" and that pleasure in excess becomes suffering), wisdom (using cognitive desire to "want what is necessary" instead of irrational impulses), justice (desires do not harm others). Learn not to want what goes against your values.
2. Desire and duty.
Civic duty comes from who you are. Social roles for Stoics are not restricting chains and obligations but inspiration. The desire to be a better citizen, father, son, worker, neighbor. Do not desire what goes against your duty.
3. Desire and control.
Desire what is currently within your control. For example, wanting to do your job perfectly today, not desiring good weather. False control breeds anxiety and narcissism, distorts the perception of reality. Do not desire what is beyond your control; learn to appreciate and want what you have now.
4. Desire aligned with reality.
Active acceptance or "amor fati" (love your destiny) instead of escapism. Desire to live in the present world, accepting and wanting it, instead of resisting reality and escaping into fantasy, illusion, and various forms of escapism, including chemical or ideological.
"Freedom is not attained by satisfying our idle desires but by getting rid of such desires. If you want to convince yourself that this is true, apply to the liberation from your empty desires at least half as much effort as you have spent on fulfilling them so far, and you will soon see that this way you will gain much more peace and happiness." Epictetus.
How are you doing with your desires? Are you suppressing them, pandering to them? Are you using the power of your desires or are your desires using you?