The 12 Stoic Commandments
1. Who to compete with?
Compete with yesterday's Self. Strive to surpass yourself, going to bed even just a bit smarter and stronger than you were the day before. “The greatest victory is the victory over oneself,” and “one who conquers himself conquers the entire world.”
2. Whom to command?
Command yourself. The person who cannot command himself is a slave. "Who cannot obey himself will be commanded." "He who cannot command himself must obey. Some can command themselves, but still lack much to know how to obey themselves." Control yourself and observe the Stoic dichotomy of control - "You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
3. Who to listen to?
Listen to your reason and be inspired by the emotions it generates through rational vision. "A person must conquer his passions, or they will conquer him." You will rule over many if your mind rules over you. Reason should come from within, not from emotions stirred by the external world. If your mind rules you, you are a king; if your body rules, you are a slave. Ask yourself: Is your mind a slave making endless excuses, or a guide seeking ways to act?
4. From whom to expect?
Set expectations only for yourself, not for others or the world. Expectations from others lead to disappointment. Expecting from yourself sets a bar and a standard for your actions: What will I do in this situation? How will I behave?
5. Whom to impress?
Aim to impress only three people: your child Self, Future Self, and the Best Possible Self. Trying to impress random people is foolish if they aren’t who you aspire to be. Also, seek advice from this same trio.
6. From whom to seek advice?
Consult this same trio. Ask your future Self: Will I regret doing (or not doing) this? Will I be proud of myself for doing (or not doing) this? You can even call upon your Death and ask: Does this matter? Or, could you reflect on your Inner Observer: Do I like who I am when I do this?
7. Who to befriend?
Be friends with yourself. Often, we are our own enemies—rude, dismissive, ignoring our own needs. Remaining an enemy to oneself only makes it harder to build true friendships with others. Start with yourself, and never speak or treat yourself worse than you would a friend.
8. Whom to take care of?
Take care of yourself first. You cannot help others if you cannot first help yourself. Remember the oxygen mask rule: put on your mask first, then help the child. Your strength, influence, and resources empower your ability to help others. If one person becomes strong, those around them may be saved.
9. Whom to trust?
Trust yourself. Stop lying to yourself and letting yourself down, even in small ways. Keep your promises to yourself and avoid self-deception. This builds real self-belief based on true actions.
10. Whom to change?
Change yourself. Be an example to friends, children, and others. This is vicarious learning—just by living according to your principles and taking action, you become a more vital example than through words alone. Whatever you tell children, they will do what you do, not what you say.
11. Whom to judge?
Judge yourself. "If another’s delusion angers you, turn back upon yourself. Consider a similar failing within yourself, like valuing money, pleasure, or empty fame. When you find this in yourself, you will soon forget your anger, especially if you realize that person cannot help but be that way." — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. When you see faults in others, reflect on how to avoid similar ones.
12. What to do?
Do what must be done. What you personally ought to do, arising from your moral duty, values, roles, and skills. Do what you excel at, where you bring the most value to the world. Only you can do those unique things—from caring for your child to achieving professional success. To fulfill and maximize your physical and mental potential is your sacred duty to yourself.